So I jagged myself tonight.

Carole was adament that I shouldn’t but guess what? She’s not here!

I know a lot of the personal bits that she doesn’t that made me feel a bit down.As the DH said earlier ” You are no worse or even better than you were before” He knows me pre-Rebif, so I trust his judgement over Caroles’

She is a sweet lady and such, a very dear sweet lady but she has only know me a month, so well-she has a lot to learn about me!

The LDN is on it’s way and should be here by Wednesday. Very exciting indeed!

The boy has broken for school holidays!! HURRAH! We are free for nine weeks! *giggles childishly*

Not much else happeniing to be honest ,so I’ll bug off and play on some of my other sites!!

If I could jump, I’m sure I’d rattle!

At 10 am the phone rang, I answered- actually it missed the first time because I didn’t reach the handset in time. I managed to snatch it the second time though. It rings, I answer  it was Carole my MS nurse ringing to check in with me.

I told her what was happening and she basically told me I had to stop the Rebif immediately and I needed to go see my GP.

We talked about it for a spell and I agreed to go see my Doctor.

She rang ahead and had a chat with him.  I then managed to get through (have no clue how she managed so fast!) and by 12pm I was sitting in the doctors surgery.

Got there, explained and we both agreed that I was not in any immediate danger of killing myself! For some reason she was convinced that I would hang up the phone then go top myself.. bizarreO

I don’t want to stop the Rebif because other than the small fact that I was thinking about being dead it was all good.

Doc gave me a script for-fluoxetine? I agreed to take them to try and stay on Rebif.

My LDN is on the way, apparentlt this can and will pass.

I am aware of it, My husband is also very much aware of the slight change in my personality. I seem to be obsessing over small issues from time to time, that and I am very quick in being annoyed. I am usually a very slow burn and things have to go on for a decent length of time before I would mention them.

I am not overly concerned at the moment. The usual MS crew have been consulted and they think as long as I keep tabs on it, it will blow over.

I am still gonna jag tomorrow though,Carole wants me to stop and try Copaxone. Not a fucking hells chance! I chose rebif because I don’t like needles- I still don’t!

The best thing about me is the way my brain works.

It is so funky and messed up that , gah, it is just that funky.

So no Rebif side effects eh ? Nah not me!!

Didn’t get any of the flu like symptoms, I didn’t get any site reactions either.

I got one better!!

Suicide Ideation.

I was aware of it , yes.

It was discussed with my MS Nurse, that and all the other usual side effects.

BAM!

It came straight-out of left field , that I was not expecting!

You could not make this shit up..

I am seriously fucked up kids..

Important part is that I know what it is, I was aware of the chance of it happening before I started on the Rebif.

what to do though??

Apart from playing with the notion of offing myself , it is all good.

I honestly cannot top myself anyways- DH ‘cooked’ the boys their lunch today..

Sweetcorn and Pasta shapes- together and cooked in the same pot- along with two vegetable fingers he cooked in the oven!

Gods help the waynes! He tried bless him, he did and well, he can clean up a storm. Hoovering, washing general house up keep. He is a master at that, props to the guy there but cooking?

Dear Gods above the boy has no clue..

The boys ate it , but DS1 quietly asked me ” Will you cook dinner tomorrow Mummy?”

Those who suffer Arthritis have been given extra drugs to help them.. I wonder what brought on that change of heart? Anything to do with the new government and showing some kindness in their heart? Na, more like shove them some more drugs and then they can get out to work. The Ms population has already been targeted and hit with the Lib Dems own special brand of kindness, as thousands of MS patients have already been ‘assessesd’ and miraculously cured of their disease and pronounced fit for work.

Hundreds of wheelchair users have been thrown onto ESA and been told that they must find work..Hundreds have appealed and it hasn’t gotten them anywhere.

Just today the government have announced plans to relocate the umemployed to different areas of the country in order to find work..

So what is this all boiling up to? What is the overall plan? Get Britain out of debt. Debt that was not caused by the ordinary worker on the street. We all have to contribute, and pull together. It’s gonna be hard, it’s gonna be tough. Yeah living on £700 PER DAY is going to be very trying Mr ‘ Prime Minister’  I feel your pain.

I have a better idea..

Compulsory Euthanasia.

My bad- it wouldn’t be compulsory it would be voluntary and would be “ providing incentives for people to find peace, rather than compelling them to die”

Hands up who thinks that this bunch of knobheads (who we did not vote in) have been watching the Sci-fi channels at bit too much?

Logans Run ? Oh but no, silly me, that would require them to put every over thirty years of age by the simple expediency of killing them, and they wouldn’t be that kind.

They have already unleashed their plans to make every person in the UK work until they drop, whether they are capable or not.. Bad example..?

hmm hows about Gattaca? where During this time society analyzes your DNA and determines where you belong in life- do you deserve to exist in the UK?

Think about it, no disabled- mentally or physically people with disabilities within the UK. Just drones who carry on existing until the day they drop.

No more MS, ME, Autism, Aspergers, Arthritis,[Duchenne]/ Muscular Dystrophy

Ladies and Gentlemen- I think we have a winner!

I feel a lot lighter since I made my decision.

I always wondered what the hell Debbie Purdy was rattling on about ya know? I wasn’t at that stage and I couldn’t for the life of me understand where she was coming from.

But she was right, a very smart lady indeed.

Hell who knows maybe it is just  the Rebif talking?  Maybe, Maybe not.

Party tomorrow at Granny’s house. The boys are looking forward to it!

The boy knows that his Grandpa is buying him the Imaginext Space Shuttle thingy and he was bursting with excitement when he was being tucked in bed tonight. Sorry to break to you sweeties but your birthday is no until Sunday and then and only then will you be receiving any gifts that have been purchased for you.

I have two cards to make for his teachers, plus two gifts to purchase! I have also been talked into buying a tub of Ben 10 chocolate bars for the boy to take to school and hand out. The break up on Wednesday afternoon.

Small boy is now registered with said school and should start Year One next September.

Life sucks-why do they have to grow up?

We have a birthday boy on Sunday! And we will have a little man aged five years!

It feels like it was only yesterday that I saw him for the first time and yet here we are getting ready to start Year Two..

I awoke from the emergency Cesarean ( I had a cord prolapse) not knowing if my baby had survived.. My husband was the first face that I saw, he was looking at me and crying.. I opened my mouth to speak to him and he pointed behind me..

I turned my head to see this beautiful, angelic blond haired child- looking at me! He was wide awake and his big blue eyes were looking straight at me! Gods it was amazing..

The nurse came over, took him out of the incubator and said ” Someone is hungry Mommy” She put him to me and he latched straight on and fed for around 40 minutes. I was the transferred from recovery to my room , and me and the husband spent the next hour laughing and crying..

Fast Forward; We spent 40 minutes watching boy perform in a play for the parent/grandparents etc. It was the Fundamental Movement teacher who taught it to them. Fourteen little people , all singing, dancing and making a helluva noise playing their ‘musical instruments. They were then awarded their certificates for taking part in the class. Lovely!

We then left and headed to Toys’ r’ Us to purchase his birthday gift. Something that Daddy has been begging for him to have for a while. Five is an accepable age I think , and he is quite advanced anyhow so yeah, it was purchased today.

A smart red Nintendo DS plus three games; Cars O Rama (from the ‘Cars’ movie) Farm Life and a Super Mario Bros plus a spiffy ‘Cars’ protective case to keep his console safe.

Same rules will apply to the DS as he had in place for his V-Tech. Supervised access only , and no more than two hours three days a week. He will also lose the privilege if he plays up. He learned pretty sharpish that, that particular rule will be enforced!

Small boy also got a smaller Thomas set that was reduced to £14.99 from £29.99. Looking at it , I find it doubtful that it would ever have retailed at £30 but there you go!

I am fed up with MS. I am fed up with rambling on and on about it. I have it. I live with it everyday.

I do have several sites and including Temporal there are only two that I  actually blog with regards to my personal daily activities. Temporal-Confusion is the only one where the fact that I have MS is mentioned.

TC turned into this , oh god , I don’t know this place to rant about MS.

After a ridiculous spat on UKS about a 19 year who fed her four month old chocolate. Yes, a Silly Cow. Bad language there, dreadful. How dare I.

The usual bullies on that forum jumped down my throat, and one in particular, Romi, decided to leave me vicious private messages about my MS, at that point I think I had mentioned the MS once in regards to the reason why I chose to breastfed. That bitch started me, then another fat little 20 odd year old named ‘Baby Freckles’ (she has a big flabby face and is anything but cute) joined in and even left message here at TC. Of course the other hags from UKStupid joined in.

I was called a benefit cheat, even though I am not on any benefits other than DLA because of my MS. Of course all hell broke lose because I don’t look disabled nor do I have any noticeable signs of a disability. Aren’t I lucky?

Someone named Kirsty then weighted in and accused me of lying to get DLA. Her daughter, who I have since found out, can walk 100 metres but “she only gets low rate DLA” and” Spends 90% of her time in a wheelchair” She spends the other 10% climbing up fairground rides, standing on her tipping toes on bridges and wrapping her skinny legs around chairs.

So? that is my fault how? Multiple sclerosis a Degenerative Neurological Disease. Multiple sclerosis  is a chronic disease that causes progressive nerve damage.

I am not too skinny to walk,Funnily enough she seems to think that her daughter now has Aspergers. She is in good company as the majority of those forum users all seem to have the retarded kid syndrome. That and Fibro and or ME and they all want to get on benefits/DLA for it. With them and the retarded squad all getting DLA/carers allowance must  be costing the UK a pretty penny.

Yet, I seem to the the only one among them that has anything genuinely wrong them but yet I am blasted to hell and back because I get DLA, and a blue badge, which really annoys that Kirsty doll.She can’t get her daughter onto higher level DLA ,so she is trying the retarded kid route. Very interesting.Very Interesting indeed.

I am a vile,evil benefit cheat who was having ” a physical reaction to her disease”

No. Ten years ago I was diagnosed blah,blah blah, I work from home, blah ,blah blah,

I was annoyed and I then started to ‘embellish’ certain benefits that I might or most likely not receive.

Why ?because it was funny to watch you all rip yourself into shred is why. They ,being English, have got the notion that anyone on DLA is a benefit cheat, but only if you don’t have Aspergers, Autism,Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS ….

A quote from a lifelong friend and mentor; Winnie the Pooh

You know to whom I am referring to don’t you?

*laughs*

Look, whatever knock yourself out. It is plainly obvious that you have very little else in your life to shout about.

Go google the questions that people ask and give them the answers. You do not need a brain to do that, you are in no way intelligent so please don’t attempt to pass yourself off as such.

I have had MS for the past ten years Mrs- TEN Years- I am so past that, that it isn’t even funny or relevant.

Anyways- Tonight is injection night.  I have literally just given the jab. I decided to go with the upper left hand side of my tummy tonight, I haven’t actually used anywhere on the stomach location since the first week of taking Rebif, so hey- my thighs got a break tonight!

I can’t even tell where the actual site location was, I usually get a tingle when I use a thigh and that helps me spot a site but there isn’t any sensation at all when I use the tummy.

I received a letter from the MS nurse today. I have a new batch of Meds to collect from the Hospital Pharmacy on July  26. Exciting stuff. Yeah okay not, but I don’t think that I would forget to run out of Rebif.

The DH is watching England about to lose tonight- Oh c’mon you don’t really think that they will win do you? It’s England- enough said!

I friend of mine ,who is also a paid blogger has referred me to a new (to me anyway) company called Business2Blogger
I looked really interesting so I decided to take a chance and sign up! It’s FREE and it does exactly what it says on the tin ,It connects up bloggers with businesses and what do you have ?
A match made in heaven!!
Apparently, the company will give me the opportunity to choose from not hundreds, but thousands of paid opportunities, products, services, discounts, and more and it does sound very exciting to me!

It seems to have taken a fresh twist on the traditional, if not somewhat boring paid to blog scene. I have my eye on the the non payment compensation part. Book reviews? I am so there!

I look forward to be part of this blogging platform!

Wish me luck!